Jun 14

Breaking News From The Realm Of The Absurd….

Posted by Keith on Saturday Jun 14, 2008 Under Random Thoughts

The dramatic set piece known as ‘Ode to My Chai Tea Latte That Girded My Loins For Battle,’ has been pre-empted due to the intolerable lack of media coverage and benjamins for the auteur and creative differences with the composer of the film’s score. ‘Ode to My Chai Tea Latte That Girded My Loins for Battle,’ set against the glorious backdrop of 1990s suburbia and starring Scott Baio, Dr. Ruth and Roseanne Barr’s butt double, was set to return to prominence that greatest of Shakespearean Actors: Tinkerbell, the Taco Bell chihuahua. When the words ‘Yo Quiero Taco Bell ‘ could not be set to the tune of ‘Oh Savannah,’ composer Rockwell walked away from the picture, citing Tinkerbell’s inability to sing in pitch for the song. Insiders have claimed that it was really Tinkerbell’s Scientology beliefs that drove Rockwell away, since even Scientologists fail to believe that Rockwell possessed any talent after screening the music video for ‘Somebody’s Watching Me.’The publicist responsible for failing to promote this high-concept period piece has been sacked. We now return you to the regular, lowbrow reading of Mindless Pursuits.

The world will never know what it missed out on….

8 Responses to “Breaking News From The Realm Of The Absurd….”

  1. nenuphar Says:
    June 14th, 2008 at 3:47 pm

    It’s just as well…Baio hasn’t been the same since his lead role in that disappointing hip-hop version of Madame Butterfly. Must have had something to do with the negative effects of breakdancing in a formal kimono. Poor thing, he might have been fine in a yukata. But I’m sure it didn’t help matters much that Col. Pinkerton’s role was so shockingly recast at the last minute, so Baio had to adjust so quickly to playing opposite Charro instead of the expected, and widely preferred, Weird Al Yankovic. I mean, so what if Charro can rap in Japanese better than Weird Al? Al would have totally rocked it, if only all the Hollywood linguistics coaches weren’t at that Speaking in Tongues megachurch retreat at the time.

  2. Keith Says:
    June 14th, 2008 at 4:36 pm

    Marry me! :)

  3. Cozy Says:
    June 14th, 2008 at 4:47 pm

    Um…. I think I will just leave you two alone.

  4. Keith Says:
    June 14th, 2008 at 4:48 pm

    ROFL…. :)

  5. nenuphar Says:
    June 14th, 2008 at 5:02 pm

    Uh well…my husband might have some reservations about that… ;)

    Cozy - hahaha!

  6. Keith Says:
    June 14th, 2008 at 5:06 pm

    I thought he might, but I had to say it anyway! ;)

    I’m just terribly bored at trying to keep a straight-laced, crafting-only blog. I guess it’s just not me! I need to have fun and humor so I’m injecting it in now…

    Glad to know there is someone who can take it and run with it! :)

  7. nenuphar Says:
    June 14th, 2008 at 6:17 pm

    Heh heh…bring it on! Absurd is my middle na…oh never mind. :P

  8. Jess Says:
    June 16th, 2008 at 10:30 am

    …my mind is still reeling with the shock that Scott Baio has had a secret underground career that includes Charro and Rockwell…both of which I also had no idea were plugging away with secret underground careers of their own…

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